Paro Dit — On Dit Office is raided by AUU as part of a news story cover up.

Words by Felix Eldridge

In the late hours of yesterday evening, seven AUU staff and security personnel entered the On Dit office located in the basement of the George Murray building. While the AUU assured On Dit that this was merely just a ‘routine random check-up’, On Dit believes that this raid was authorized with the intention of removing evidence that suggested that a senior AUU figure possessed an extensive ‘Hello Kitty’ collection and that On Dit was on the verge of publishing an article to such an extent. On Dit can confirm that no such evidence or article exists but is concerned with the measures the AUU is willing to take to prevent such claims from surfacing.

Happy April Fools!