Words by A Dedicated Clowncillor
If you’re one to keep up with the seemingly never-ending cycles of student politics drama, there is a chance you will be aware of the recent shifts in our university’s student governance. I am, of course, referring to the monumental rise of the Student Representative Clowncil.
While we have largely been met with open arms by students who recognise the important role we play, there has been a confusing amount of backlash from people who do not understand why the University of Adelaide needs a Clowncil.
Allow me to present some of our finest organisational highlights, and hopefully help clear up exactly how the Clowncil is designed to optimise your university experience.
Transparency With The Student Body
The Student Representative Clowncil believes that it is essential that you, the common student, have complete and unfettered access to how you’re being governed. As such, we’ve set out a list of ways we intend to –
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– and that is why the Clowncil advocates for a strong Star Trek presence on campus. We hope this has helped clear up our stance on the importance of transparency with students!
A Cohesive Group of Representatives
The Clowncil is a tight-knit group that rejects the concept of “cliques”. Additionally, unlike other representative councils, we are only interested in representing one student perspective — our own — the clown perspective! Therefore, there are no conflicting political biases between members to cloud your experience. Nor are there diverse political stances between members to cloud your experience. When you come to our stalls and events, rest assured that you’re only hearing from the right people with the right views.
And even if the occasional person who doesn’t hold our preferred stances somehow slips into the Clowncil, not to worry. We just won’t inform them about any upcoming Clowncil meetings and organised campus events. This is super useful for you, as you only have to worry about hearing one perspective rather than multiple conflicting ones you have to spend time thinking about!
We Have A Thorough Understanding Of How Leadership Works
We at the Clowncil firmly believe that the presidency is determined by whoever yells that they’re the president the loudest. In fact, personally I don’t even vote in federal elections. I just go to the polling booth and tell everyone who will listen that I’m the new Prime Minister of Australia through the power vested in me by the Clowncil. Usually I get to tell a solid 17 people before security escorts me out. Now, I’m no Frank Underwood, but my time bingeing House of Cards on Netflix has made me pretty certain there is no law stating that one cannot simply claim leadership over another group.
The Clowncil has been afforded real power and legitimacy for a reason; we have the right to extend that power over other groups, their own autonomy and their consent in the matter be damned. Again, this makes things easier for all of you — to find out the leadership of any group on campus, all you have to do is look to us, your one-stop totalitarian force!
On Dit 