Words by Charlotte Whincup
CW: Contains discussions of ableism and sexual abuse.
Yes! Yes! Yes!
That’s what we like to hear.
Crazy concept, I know, but believe it or not, people with disabilities, chronic illness or neurodivergence have sexual desires too!
What?!
You mean being diagnosed with a disability or medical condition doesn’t change your sexual orientation?
Who’da thunk it?
Frankly, it’s insulting that anyone would assume having a disability or illness is synonymous with being asexual.
It is an insult also to the asexual community, who are already pathologised enough for not experiencing sexual attraction.
Besides, many ace people have sex regardless!
While there is undoubtedly some overlap between the two groups, one is not the cause for the other.
It’s like saying that being straight determines one’s Whiteness.
It makes no sense.
They are two separate identities that happen to co-exist in any given individual.
It may be tempting to view someone with a disability or medical condition as ghastly, or a helpless little lamb, thus not needing or unable to have ‘real’ sex. By doing so, you are actually denying them a fundamental human right, that of self-determination.
Any barriers people with disabilities and medical conditions face in expressing their sexuality are the result of structural factors, mainly the lack of open dialogue about how to accommodate their disability or condition in their sex life, if they wish to have one.
These dialogues include enjoyment, contraception, and sex education.
Chronic pain, fatigue, mental state and medication as a result of symptoms and treatment can all decrease one’s libido, causing much distress for those who would otherwise want to engage in sexual activity.
Additionally, restrictions on the methods of contraception available to an individual with a disability or condition discourages their engagement as sexual citizens.
Because we tend to infantilise neurodivergent youth, we neglect to provide them with comprehensive sex education, if any at all. They generally have as much interest in it as neurotypical kids.
We desperately need to equip neurodivergent students with knowledge of respectful social behaviours and personal boundaries, and also deliver this disability-specific information in an appropriate, digestible way.
It is because of our failure to break this stigma that 90% of Australian women with a cognitive disability have been sexually abused, according to Women with Disabilities Australia.
Most often, these instances occur against minors and are left unreported.
This Sex Week, I implore you to reflect on the assumptions you make about people with disabilities and medical conditions. Help empower them to have a pleasurable time in the bedroom, on an equitable standing.
If you need support, reach out to Student Life- Counselling via the Registration Form:
https://www.adelaide.edu.au/counselling/access-counselling
- North Terrace/Waite +61 8 8313 5663
- Available Monday 9:00am to Thursday 5:00pm and Friday 9:00am to 4:00pm.
Alternatively you can contact the University Crisis Line:
- Call 1300 167 654 or text +61 488 884 197
- Weekdays 5pm-9am, Weekends & Public Holidays 24 Hrs
Or call Lifeline on 13 11 14
Reference
Better Health Channel 2021, Disability and sexuality, Victoria State Government, viewed 23 March 2023, <https://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/health/servicesandsupport/disability-and-sexuality#bhc-content>.
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